"It’s funny to hear what men say when they think they’re being complimentary.But when it does get brought up by guys, they tend to be like, ‘Oh, you’re into women? And I’m like yes — but I’m also into Sci Fi fiction and the conversation can go that way."But the amount of times I open up my Ok Cupid to messages that are like ‘BBW Yum’ or ‘I Heart BBW’ — it’s a lot."The fact that they go right to the fetish thing has to be frustrating.I mean, in my experience, that kind of explicit sex and fetish talk doesn’t really happen until after we’ve slept together a few times.As a straight-sized person, I sometimes get slut-shamed if I turn a guy down, but I don’t get body-shamed. Well, aside from my ex-boyfriend, who I met on Tinder and who wound up being pretty great."I feel like, in the time since I’ve been off Tinder, I’ve really gotten to a place where I’m more confident in myself, and that comes from the blog and these movements."How did you get to that place? I feel like this relationship that I was just in — he was the first boyfriend who never told me that I had to lose weight. When in reality, he just acted the way a good person should act."We prop up men who date differently-sized women as heroes, and they’ll pat themselves on the back. I follow Robbie and his wife Sarah, and I’ve loved them for a really long time. "I think for me, I’m hyper-aware of how language is used when it comes to talking about me and my body on dating sites, or when I’m at a bar, or wherever I meet another person. But the fetishization tends to come when people make assumptions about what plus-size women actually like. S., do not do, because I have a lot of food allergies."Aside from being plus, you also identify as queer.Having a stranger attack you for your body shape has to be so disheartening. Back then, it would really affect me, and I’d think, ‘Am all I good for is sex? ’ It felt like they thought they could say whatever they wanted to me because they didn’t see me as a person. Now I’ve got guys DMing me on Instagram asking to take me out on a date. Do you think that being in a relationship for three years helped or hindered that? Every other boyfriend would be like, ‘Damn, if you were to drop however much weight, you’d be a supermodel.’ Men have outwardly said that to me."That’s ridiculous. And it’s really sad and tough, because you also have your parents at home who question what you’re eating, or asking if you want to go to the gym. This last boyfriend, I really do have to give him credit. And when I saw the post, I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is so great! But we should not be putting men on a pedestal for liking curvy bodies. It’s very prevalent for plus-size women to constantly have their bodies be the forefront of the conversation for a lot of reasons. Like, I’ve gotten messages from men — it’s male-specific, biologic, cisgendered men — who want to feed me all the time. Do you feel like you’re more fetishized for one than the other? I feel like the BBW [Big Beautiful Woman] thing [gets more attention].